I’m back baby!
New year! 2012 is the year of not giving a fuck! It’s time to fully embrace my sexuality. None of this non-smoking hypocrite shit.
Quite soon after I stopped posting on here, I bought an e-cig. My interest was piqued since I discovered I could still get turned on by them - and if I have it I could maybe interest a girl to have a few puffs on it during sex as a kind of compromise if she wasn’t into smoking during sex. Who was I kidding, me have sex? If I were to double my tally in 2011, I certainly wouldn’t have possibly ruined the opportunity by asking her to smoke.
Anyway, I bought the e-cig, initially 0mg nicotine. But I fucking loved the feeling. Pretty soon I was out of filters, I had to order more in. More of the 0mg nicotine filters. But no, the online store only stocked 18mg nicotine filters. Fuck it, I bought them anyway. I thought I was getting the “throat hit” with the 0mg filters, but with the 18mg HOLY FUCK. Pretty soon I was vaping all day. I was addicted, and I was fucking loving it.
At this point, I had not even smoked an actual cigarette, or properly indulged my fetish sexually. That changed during one night out though. Early last month, I went out with a group of friends to our nearest city (I’m still not trusting tumblr with my geographical location). Anyway, I had my e-cig with me, but I was still not “out” to my friends. Really, a guy whose never smoked casually drawing on an e-cig, questions would arise. Anyway through the night I was nipping into the toilets to inhale some sweet sweet nicotine. And eventually I guess I got drunk to the point where I was just puffing in public in bars (It is legal of course). They must’ve been drunk enough to not care either. But I was attracting some female attention.
A brunette in her early twenties approached me and asked about the e-cig. “Are you trying to quit?” she asked. “No” I laughed “I’m trying to start”.
“So, come out with me and we’ll smoke a proper cigarette”
I didn’t even have to think. A very attractive woman is asking me to come and smoke with her, of course I’m going to say yes!
We’re standing outside alone, while she rummages through her bag and eventually pulls out a pack of Marlboro Golds and a lighter. She places the two of them between her lips and flicks the lighter. Life almost passed in slow motion as I watched her light the two simultaneously, dragging multiple times to ensure they’re lit before removing the two of them, moving her hand towards me to offer a cigarette whilst exhaling a luscious stream of smoke.
“Take one!” she demanded
I reached out and took the cigarette between my fingers. I take my first drag, inhale and exhale without coughing, loving the sensation and taste of the smoke inside me.
“You’ve done this before” she added
I assured her I hadn’t and proceeded to tell her about my smoking fetish.
“Guys who smoke are pretty hot too” she said
I couldn’t believe my ears, I’d never met a girl before who was even okay with the smoking fetish let alone possibly having one herself.
As I was captivated by her dragging on her cigarette, I could see her eyes were fixated on me doing the same.
I finished my cigarette first, and asked her for another. She pulled out a cigarette, put it to her lips and lit it with the end of her now finished cigarette.
“Oh, that was the last one” she said, smiling
I ran across the street into a shop. “40 Marl-brah Gold” I said to the cashier. Handed to me without question. I ran back across the street handing her a pack, keeping a pack for myself. I unwrapped the cellophane, opened the pack, took out a fag and lit it. I was now a smoker.
I ditched my friends and spent the rest of the night with this girl. A girl who has been my girlfriend for a month. The best fucking month of my life.
You know what I got for Christmas? Oh, it was a banner fucking year at the old Bender family. I got a carton of cigarettes. The old man grabbed me and said, “Hey, smoke up Johnny.”
I always thought this scene from The Breakfast Club would eventually become true of me. For a start Bender has my name (tumblr anonymity waived), and I also got a carton of cigarettes, except it was from my girlfriend.
TL;DR : I am now a 20 a day smoker with an awesome girlfriend who also has the fetish - all thanks to e-cigarettes!
Now back to the smoking pics!
Goodbye
This side project is over. I have more important real life stuff to concentrate on. In addition to that my password has been compromised. Some Icelandic guy is onto me. So, I’m finished. Bye.
